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Dissociation

by Morgan Erina

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1.
Dissociation 03:51
Maybe this time we can change Maybe this time It's so strange I walk with you See right through me I see you Breathe into me Make me true I walk with you Are we even alive if can't feel it How do we know if this is real It's like my feet are on the ground But I can't feel it Im not a stranger to dissociating Please tell me am I here
2.
Ghost 05:24
They look at me like I'm a stranger in their eyes I feel like I am wearing some disguise I'm in the streets trying to make up my own mind When is it going to be my turn to die We don't know where there's space in us to lie I'm not the same as I was that other time I feel my face It doesn't feel like mine I can't remember We'll just have to rewind I'm on the outside Looking in I feel like a ghost I'm never going to be the one you need me to be You put your foot down I escape to a new town Can't outrun my problems Don't know how to solve them Te amo pero no lo se Dónde estamos Pero sé que esto no es toda Lo que hay
3.
They see lines in the careless drawings Past run wild with the mindless torturing I don't want to say I'm going to a dark place Maybe I'll see you when I get back Call me honey If you love me Call me baby If you'll wait for me They see shadows in the eyes of millions Just waiting it out in the desert that the heart is The damage is done Lies in the form of memories Maybe I'll see you when I get back I don't want to say I'm going to a dark place So I will let go.
4.
You know we see things differently Just cause I'm unstable Doesn't mean I'm not able to speak If I'm acting crazy I don't know Maybe let me know It's all the same This pretty little game Let me go You are unaware of the pain you caused You're not an angel No matter how big the applause I want that beautiful life
5.
Mornings here I appear In the mirror Who are you I don't recognize What's in those eyes Can't stare too long I'm not that strong I don't want to die Without ever knowing you Oh in this place I am erased I am replaced I need some space I now that my mind Protects me from inside Am I still alive Where are you Once I forgot my own name It's never been quite the same It's not the same I fell into my brain I'll figure out a way To get out Nobody save me I will save myself I can feel I'm slipping Are you in there listening I will meet you later Somewhere more stable
6.
This is my city But I no longer feel safe This is my body But I no longer feel safe I'm stuck in a world that doesn't love me I'm stuck in a world that doesn't appreciate But it doesn't hesitate to hurt me Maybe you'll save me Maybe you'll hate me Maybe you'll love me Maybe I'm ready These are my eyes But I longer feel safe These are my thoughts But I no longer feel safe It's doesn't hesitate to break me
7.
Close your eyes And take it all in The demise of where you've been I guess I'm falling all the way to nowhere My body's not mine anymore I'm so glad You found a way to paradise, ya sad man I only regret everything we did then I'm not afraid of you Taking time to let you in In the end letting you win Maybe now they'll hear my song And know that they were wrong I want my freedom from you
8.
What am I doing here Nothing feels real Well I can't feel real What am I doing here Is this a dream A nightmare it seems Now I'm just permanently tired And now I'm permanently wired For nothing anymore I'm nothing anymore Well I don't know Are we alone How do I try to stay All this inside needs to rise Well I need out of here Nothings real I fear I need to rest I need to lay down forever

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released June 11, 2021

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Morgan Erina Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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